We had a fun filled weekend starting with dinner at our friends’ house on Friday, followed by Christmas drinks with my cousin and her fiancé yesterday and capped off with a holiday party at our other friends’ house today. What did all three of these outings have in common? Baby Jax came along. That’s right – we did all this with a 12 week old baby in tow!
We follow the philosophy that Jax will “fit into our lives”, as opposed to the other way around. Some people think this is selfish. I think this is reality. As always, this is by no means a preach session, but rather my opinion as to what has worked for us (and what I believe can work for you too if you want it to). We are of the view that the more outings he has, and the more people and experiences he is exposed to, the more well-rounded and well-adapted he will be.
While this does involve more organization on our part (timing feedings, naps and diaper changes before we leave the house, while we are out, and before we head back home), it works for us. It’s not always easy. Even if you do everything “right” before leaving the house, it never fails that once you arrive at your destination and finally sit down to sip that champagne cocktail or enjoy that hot appetizer you have been craving, you end up trying to find a suitable place to feed or change a diaper instead. This means you end up drinking a warm drink that it supposed to be cold and eating a cold appetizer that is supposed to be warm by the time you get to them. While this has happened SO many times, at the end of the day, it has made the transition into parenthood easier for me and my husband – making us feel like we are still connected. A few “rocky” moments when we are out are worth it to still get to attend social events with our friends.
All this being said, sometimes it doesn’t work and that’s okay. Sometimes we have to slip away to calm Jax, or leave early when we have to. I have also come to realize that one day it may no longer work (and for some people, it may never work). For right now though, this is what works for us, and Jax is getting to explore the world along the way.
If you are someone who doesn’t want to explore this – that is totally fine. A lot of people use time out as a break, and this is so important. However, if you are someone who wants to give this a try, I say “Good for you!”.
A couple things to help the process:
- Allow plenty of time to get you and baby out the door (this may involve timing outings around feedings and naps)
- Pack a few toys to entertain baby
- Have a soother strap to fasten to baby (this has helped me immensely – this way you don’t spend the entire visit picking a soother off the ground and having to sanitize it over and over again)
- If you are nursing, pack a larger blanket or scarf to help make the feed easier while visiting. Another option is to pump in advance and pack a bottle or two (in the event you don’t want to nurse in public)
- Pack a recieving blanket to use to pass around with baby if you are worried about baby picking up germs or having reactions to different perfumes (or in my case to save my friends’ clothes from spit-ups)
- If you are going to someone’s home, pack a travel playpen or bassinet so that baby can sleep there. If you are going to a restaurant, bring the stroller along
- Instead of staying the whole afternoon or evening as you would have in your “old life” pre-children, go for a couple hours
- As always, pack an extra change of clothes incase an “accident” ensues. I also find that it has helped to pack a warm sweater in case the restaurant or house you are visiting is colder than what baby is used to
Remember that it has to work for you and your baby. If it can’t, don’t be hard on yourself – try again when baby is a bit older or have people come to you for socialization in the meantime. If it can work, have fun and remember to still allow “adult” outings every now and again to give yourself a break! Also remember to give yourself a pat on the back for trying!
M.J.
