I hope this post finds you well.
At the risk of shattering the picture-perfect image that we all (including myself) try to create, it it goes….
This is something that seems to be coming up over and over again in many conversations… what I have dubbed “the Facebook Fallacy”.
What is it you ask? I think many of you can guess…
To begin, I must note that I have nothing against Facebook. This post is meant to capture all of the social media outlets. I chose Facebook because it seems to be the main outlet for sharing pictures and those “my life is so perfect” moments. Plus, “Facebook” and “fallacy” go good together (lol).
The use of social media has officially become a daily staple like brushing our teeth, doing laundry, eating dinner (the list goes on)… We are constantly being bombarded by photos of other peoples lives in some form or another (yes, I am guilty of this; however, no one is forced to follow me if they don’t want to… separate post for a separate day). The funny thing about this, is that these pictures are ALWAYS of people smiling, with their hair done, make-up done, capturing some sort of life pleasantry.
What we don’t see is the face of someone after their heart gets broken. The mom living off no sleep. The baby screaming. That day that nothing goes right. The heartaches life has a tendency to throw our way. The sad times. The frustrated times. The anxious times. None of this.
Why?
A few reasons. As human beings, we thrive when we are happy. When life is good. It’s only natural that we would want to be flooded with seeing images of such similar things. And the biggest reason of all… we are all guilty of not wanting to share those “other” moments. As a society, we don’t talk about depression, sadness, anxiety, those extra few pounds we need to shed, martial problems, financial stresses, workplace issues, the list goes on….We hide all our imperfections from the public eye. It has become a way of life to do this.
We are ALL guilty of this. Yes… me too! I am guilty of posting the “picture perfect image”. The “take 10!” The funny thing that we all don’t stop to realize is 99% of the time, that is what it is… the 10th or so attempt to get that perfect image. We don’t think of what really goes on behind the scenes.
So here it goes… here is the image that I wanted the world to see. The “perfect family”, dog to boot! A family enjoying summer, all dressed up. Baby smiling, dog behaving, husband and wife in love.
What this picture doesn’t tell you is that this shot took MANY attempts to get “right” (thank you to my future sister-in-law for her patience). That we were SUPER stressed out to get ready for dinner — baby was still sleeping when we were supposed to leave, hair and make-up had to be done, the wind was not cooperating, dogs weren’t allowed on the beach, Harley would not look at the camera, Jaxson was more interested in staring at the water and then decided to have a mini-meltdown, my husband and I were beginning to tiff because the “photo shoot” was taking too long and patience was running thin…
This is what the world didn’t see. This is real life. Right here.
So…. the point of this blog? Remember this. Remember that all of these “perfect” shots took effort to become “perfect”. That nothing ever really is at it seems. That sometimes, maybe we should share these moments.
As I reflected on what lessons I have learned since becoming a mother, the greatest of these is this…. “Learn to find beauty in imperfection” (quoting Maggie Campbell). Because there is truly so much.
All that being said, don’t drift too far to the other side that you begin to see everything with a skeptical eye. That everything you see must be fake or superficial. That will do you no good.
Rather, remind yourself every now and again that your life is pretty incredible. That all the moments that lead you to the “perfect shot” are just as important. That you really can find beauty in imperfection. And, remember…. beware of the Facebook Fallacy.
Happy Day!
M.J.
